In 12 days I will be 38. Every year I think, "I can't imagine being thirty something." And every year it happens. And even faster than the year before. I remember how old I thought the 30's were when I was 18. And the 40's? Life was basically over wasn't it?
How wrong I was. As my mother said one day, "My body feels the age but my mind still thinks I'm 18." Although I can't stop the march of time, I am determined not to go quietly.
Heart disease runs rampant in my family. My brother died of a heart attack at 46, my father had a quadruple bypass about 16 years ago, my grandfather died of a heart attack in his 50's, the list just goes on and on. Heart health has become very important to me so I started running a couple of years ago. When I started, 45 seconds of running tried to kill me. Now I can run a 5k without stopping. I figure the best I can do for myself is strengthen my heart so if something does happen to me I will be better prepared. I can't stop the bad family mojo but I can respond to it.
I always thought that my mom's side of the family was untouchable. Most women on that side live to be very old women. Yeah me, right? Maybe I got more of those genes. But then last Monday threw me a curve ball. I found a lump in my breast. It appeared overnight or at least it seemed like it. I had one removed when I was 21 (the size of a large walnut) and it was nothing. I wasn't worried then. I was young and untouchable, right? But now.....now I'm approaching 40 and it is much scarier. So many women I know close to my age have had breast cancer. I wasn't completely freaked because I do have a history of benign tumors and there is no family history of breast cancer. Or so I thought. I soon discovered that a cousin and an aunt have survived breast cancer. Okay, that may have made my stomach drop a little, but they survived. The women in my family are tough. I resolved to get even tougher. (As of posting, I am still waiting on a mammogram and ultrasound but the doctor thinks it is fibroadenoma, a benign cyst.)
And this brings me to what this post is really about. I will probably lose some people here, so if you don't want to chance being offended, just stop here.
I keep seeing these posts on facebook about people just accepting the new "average" woman. By which they mean a woman who is packing more than her share of extra pounds. It bothers me. A lot. It's like an insult to women who work hard to eat right and exercise. Women that are trying to achieve and maintain a desirable weight. Now by desirable I do not mean runway model thin. I mean a healthy, fit, strong weight. I do not believe that God designed us to be this "new average" woman and here's why. God provided us with healthy food choices. Humans were the ones who took what was originally good for us and contorted it into unhealthy, fattening foods. Injected things into it that does who knows what to our bodies. God intended us to be hard workers, to stay busy, to work with our bodies. Definitely not sit on a couch for a good part of the day. If we had stuck to God's plan, we would not have a "new average" woman.
I completely understand that our world is a different place now, that not everyone has a chance to work with their bodies anymore. But that doesn't mean that we should use that as an excuse to give up on exercise. Healthy meals are harder to prepare now. Healthy ingredients are harder to find. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I'm as guilty of this as anyone. But I'm working to change that. Why? Because I want to be strong and healthy!
Some people would say that I am extremely lucky to be naturally thin and what would I know about carrying extra weight. Yes I am and no, I really don't. But I do know what it feels like to be flabby and weak. To get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs. Just because a woman is thin does not mean she is toned and strong. I also work much harder to maintain my weight than most people know. I do not snack. I eat sweets very rarely. I stop eating when I'm full even though it's extremely tempting to keep going when it's something really yummy. I don't always eat the best things for me, hence the flab. And I'm learning that it is much, much harder to tone that up than to just avoid it in the first place by living a healthy lifestyle.
Being thin does not mean healthy.
Healthy and strong is not about pounds, it's about what those pounds are composed of. Take two women who are 50 lbs heavier than me. One could be at her optimal weight, healthy, strong and fit. Yes, her measurements are bigger but she's in the right place for her body and she's beautiful (and probably gorgeously curvy, something I'm jealous of!). The other woman may be carrying 30 extra pounds of unhealthy fat. Every body type is different! That is absolute truth. But that is not an excuse to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, not get any exercise, and then demand the rest of the world change their view of what is attractive because of what you have made yourself into.
I also completely believe that some women have health issues that keep them from being able to exercise or take medication that force weight gain. There are also those women who make an honest effort and just don't lose weight. Those things are beyond their control. I am not talking about those women. I am talking about the women who are perfectly able to control their food choices or level of activity and choose not to. That is their choice. Fine. You choose to be unhealthy but don't just expect the rest of the world to like it. And don't expect the fit girls to just sit back and take the insults that come their way. No, that girl that just worked so hard at the gym isn't just doing it to attract men (although I will concede that some probably are), she isn't doing it because she's vain, she's doing it because it makes her happy, strong, healthy, more confident and it just
feels good. Yes, it is much harder to eat healthy and work out. I understand that there are time constraints (work, kids, other activities) but there are ways to fit in workouts (the short high intensity workouts are supposed to be more effective anyway). And don't you want your kids to eat healthy too? (That is something we personally struggle with btw, I'm praying it comes with time). We should be modeling a healthy lifestyle for our kids.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean for this post to offend anyone, but I do hope it makes some people think. I may never reach my ideal body (and it definitely gets harder every year), but I'm definitely not going to just sit back and not do the things that will make me healthier and, hopefully, live longer. Shouldn't we all strive to be the best version of ourselves? I'm not talking about having the perfect body. I'm not talking about being ripped and looking stellar in a bikini (cause really nobody wants to see this in a bikini). I'm talking about being a fit, healthy, leaner version of me. And if nobody ever sees it except for my husband, well lucky him!! Who cares? I look at it everyday in the mirror and I want to feel good about it. (As good as I can at 38. I'm not crazy, I don't expect to return to my 21 year old self.)
And while we're on that subject, if you see a fit woman wearing close fitting clothes, don't talk about her behind her back and question her motives. She doesn't wear a bigger size because she doesn't have to. She has nothing to hide, nothing that she's ashamed of and desires to cover up. She likes to wear attractive clothing and she should have that right without judgement that stems from jealousy. (I'm not talking about clothing specifically designed to attract attention).
I've seen people complain lately on facebook that they don't want to hear about their friends' workouts or how much weight they've lost. It makes me crazy. These are "friends"? Don't friends support each other in their successes? These are people who are working hard, maybe harder than they ever have before, and they have every right to be proud of that fact! We shouldn't worry that we are going to offend someone by sharing our achievements. Personally I see these posts as encouragement, as challenges to push myself to do things that I might not want to do just because it's hard.
So all this to say, I have ramped up my workouts and am striving for healthier food choices. I would like to journal my progress here but I hesitate to do so because I might offend someone. For all of my friends who post pictures of them lifting weights at crossfit, completing half marathons, getting their daily run in and the results of their weight loss achievements, please keep it coming!! I am proud of each and every one of you and I love seeing what is possible. I need all the encouragement I can get!
